SJ and JS : Thanks for shaping my thoughts!! RIP

This is my first weekend in Mumbai after I started my internship in Citibank.

Pune, to me is a lot of good food, cozy home , lovely wife and sweet long drives. I missed it this time majorly for the sake of a deteriorated health which warranted travel. I didn’t just miss Pune this time but consciously avoided any other busy-ness.

It’s been long since I had a word with myself. The weather outside , the soothing sound of the rain , the lovely  breeze caressing my disheveled hair locks , the quietness of the floor and no pressing work calls for a perfect date with myself.

Well , I can talk about a lot of things , my work  - which I officially hate , my weight loss programme – which is yet to start , the future aspirations – that I am still confused about  or  the state of the MBA and engineering jobs being offered – a wholesale mandi these days.

However, I think I shall talk to myself about 2 important people in my life and about my favorite topic – my dreams.

Recently, there was sad demise of two important persons who had deeply touched my life and coincidentally their initials share the same letters: SJ and JS , i.e Steve Jobs and Jagjit Singh.The reasons though very different, their work in life has formed the pillars of my being and action.

I first got to know JS at the age of 14 , when most of the kids were lost in the cricketing fancies of Sachin. Thanks to the pathetic electricity at my hometown , I was bereft of many of those marvelous innings. However , the walkman that I had was an excellent company along with the then 60 Rs cassette of Sony Crescendo – Marasim.

I was a very thoughtful kid who had always wanted to understand and explore human emotions and JS voice and the lyrics of his ghazals were something I could relate to. My personal life was a collection of many subtle experiences, of which I had used to ponder endlessly.

With every  passing year, the  correlation between my life and the ghazals of JS became closer to the perfect  one.  Infact my first proposal to a girl in Class XIth was a result of one of the Ghazals “ yun mere khat ka jawab aaya”. Although not of JS, one can easily see the influence of Ghazals in my day to day life.

I was never a good student. However, the recipe to study which helped me work it out just fine for my IIT entrance examination was a closed room , with an airy window , a table lamp , black in colour , neatly arranged table  on which in one corner was the Philips tape recorder with JS’ s voice soothing my nerves. It was hours for which I could solve the numerical while listening to his masterpieces.

Thanks to You! The recipe worked and I could clear IITJEE.

Even then the tryst with JS continued while my life resembled a roller coaster. While it was sometimes about love , sometimes sadness , sometimes it was just for the peace of my mind. Yeah , somehow they had found me a way to be at peace.

SJ , too has affected my mind considerably and probably for the rest of my life. SJ for me is an epitome of imagination turned into reality. He is one of those original thinkers who can envision future. The  meaning of the word exciting for me is close to the bitten apple and his thoughts on how to connect the dots or how to stay hungry and foolish.

While at Infosys Services, I was selected as a research scientist in ISRO which I denied to work for Infosys R&D with the inspiration of creating something for the future, very much inspired by the Roark of my real life , SJ.

I kept following Apple closely and the protagonist SJ and his speech in Stanford about living each day was for a long time very close to my heart.

Today I am someone who wants to work on the products/services of the future, help create those, popularize them and make them reach the masses. I am an engineer from the heart , MBA from the mind and a philosopher from the soul, and I thank you both for leading me become what I am today.

Although I always thought there will be a day I could meet you, I think it shall have to wait till I give back to the world from the mind , heart and soul just as you both did !!! RIP...

Kamino ...Missing U ... all over again !!!

I am back in college and everything is ok here except that i am missing you guys very much .... it feels like being in ISM again without the company ... love....... spirits  of you wonderful beings...
I know lives have changed ... we have traded different routes in life and probably we shall all never again meet at a single crossroad of this life ... but I shall always love and cherish the roads when we were all walking side by side... each at a shoulder's length distance from each other or even closer.

Today when I walk on the path way to college ... similar to when i was rushing for the classes in ISM .. i miss the cajoling words of my chota haathi ..." yaar abhi sirf 8:05 hua hai .. abhi time hai ." and we would sleespishly enter the classroom without any pen .....and arpit without even a copy ......... Here i generally reach on time .. not becoz i have changed but because i dont have your assuring company of the last moment rush .. which of course is no fun .... I am growing thinner here .. haven't even tasted the samosas and snack of the nearby outside shops .... i still like sweets ... but bereft of your company .. i dont feel like having them anymore .....

I know I am talking immature ..... but I also know that u will understand i shall always remain immature....

I am mostly found in my room here as there is no room no 166 here ... my favorite room in ISM ..... When i visit any room here ..... i miss those faces somehow adjusting happily on the same bed facing the window and the other bed almost vacant ... with pearls of laughter and ounce of wisdom .. with non sense immense and length of the discussions from lunch to dinner.... Amongst these the tender soul had impressed me for lifetime .. and i miss your words ... i miss your perspective of seeing things from a much different height .. I miss the walks from ramdhani to seismological center .. I miss venting out myself and getting cajoled by the philosophy of the higher domain .. i miss the way I knew you .... differently ...... Though this vacuum can never be filled ... the college here often finds me wanting to walk on the roads unknown(here are few) .... only to find that you are not there to accompany me ... and I rest my feet hating to walk on that lane ....

I have somehow been lucky to meet some people in life who have a special place .......... but its never been so troubling for me before ....  it feels i am having samosa without any aloo.. I won't lie ..... there was freshers welcome .. i slept through half of it .. I hushed myself out of the DJ .. It's not that I dint try to enjoy .. but somewhere the mess parties flashing my minds ... I couldn't do anything but run away from the party .. back to my room ....

People are planning for vacations and I have distanced myself from all such plans.. after all it cant be Kolkata trip or neither it can be Kundan's home trip .. Here, no one says anything if you take water from there bottle .. but I never do .. I dont ask for shampoo here .. its not that no one does ... but it's not compelling to ask for water , shampoo , bucket .. deo to one who is none of you folks ....

There is no one  like prat here who could make you understand the concepts patiently and when you dint get it would ask "ghont lo". The roomie here is good, but it's not you who would silently understand when I was troubled and waited for me patiently , sometimes till infinity to confront him the situation. I am still straight but I miss the perfect gentleman , the most effiecient guy who would sleep on time ... no matter even if it was a DC exam tomorrow( His max wake up time was 1 am in DC).

Everyone is so practical here, I miss the heart of gold , the innocence of love and the scorn of the tiger .... Raj .. Though he has changed a lot in the recent times, I still saviour the image which is there to stay .. the truest form of man . I don't ask doubts to people , not because I don't have any but coz it reminds me of the days when even before the exams you would be found explaining the concepts to the less illuminated folks , sometimes for the nth time... I miss the tenderness of your soul and along with the generosity of ur wallet(I used to finish off his prepaid balance while he was fast asleep). He never complained and neither did Rastogi.

There is a temple here at the hill top and I can get the company , but I don't feel like going ....It makes me remember the Hyderabad days with you rastogi..........I miss those lengthy conversations on love life....

It's not that people here are dumb, but i still miss the intellects of ganza , mathur and ghosh da who could molest the logic of logic to any extent. I miss the numerous debates, planning of tom dick and harry and what not .. and of course I miss the Kundan-Mathur show .... Anshu has changed from a fragile guy to tough guy both mentally and physically, but i still like to believe that he is the guy who used to come to the volleyball court almost everyday for almost negligible improvement in the skills..A favorite of bhatta who actually wanted to preserve his brains in ISM for further reserach ... ok i was kidding ..

I miss you  both .....Neha and Neelam , The girls here though 40% in proportion are no fun to walk with to the Girl's hostel(No I don't delibrately go there... the mess is that side). I miss the short temper and the valentine's day roses ... I miss the kolkata trip .. I miss the library days.... I miss seeing neelam preparing for Gre and teasing her .. I miss those long hours spent in canteen.. I miss the computer workshop , I miss the Bangalore catch up .. I miss the sense of warmth I had in your company and I miss the fun and frolic in yours........I miss your fights and your sign languages .........

I can go on and on and on ....... it wont ever end .....

but practically its 4:45 am now .. let me wind up ...........

I know i should not say this .... but let me tell it to you now that the emotion platter is full ..........................There was one thg in final year that changed me .. and my perception of almost evrythg . .............. I feel very blessed to have you all as my friends in those trying times and later ........................each one of you has touched my life in a very unique way .. beyond the limits of words...

I love You ALL,

Happy friendship day


PS: The above was written on 1st August, reproduced out of love and dearth of anything more beautiful than the words above...

Kamino!! I am missing u

Long time , more than thousand days gone… when I did see all of your faces together, some at canteen and others at library and yet others on the lanes of heaven on earth .. ruby hostel. Yes ruby hostel to me was a secret and sacred place to me,  with beauty and brains residing at the same place (though not in the same bodies eventually). But yes , most in the hell(read boys hostel) did consider it as a magical place , some even querying the ex-mess workers of ruby. Not difficult to guess why the fired/replaced/resigned employees of ruby hostel had guaranteed openings in guys hostels . In fact  they were quite popular with the chamatkari(can do an 3idiots inspired Cntrl H) souls of the hell.

I still remember when I met a timid soul who went on to be my roommate and one of the best buddies in the queue for Admission and then of med-check. A south Indian look, rimmed specs and the disciplined trudging to the admission room made him a serious candidate for fully faltu awards(read gold medal, best outgoing stud etc). I am glad that my , in fact our company made him graduate into a smart and cool stud , not to mention without the load of any faltu award. He realized the eternal gyaan of chillaxing even while the world awaits an apocalypse. We did help him in realizing that he is way sharper than others when he could get above average marks with less than average efforts. In other words we shaped his life …. Oh ok .. no thanks required here… that’s what we are good at .

Those were not the days of cheap mobile phones and of course 99 % of the best students are from poorest/most logical of the families in India, none of us were in the elite 1% group. We used to queue up for calling our sweet dens thousands of miles away and to try to fake the hell we were in saying “Aal izz well”, while thinking of doing the murga rounds in the morning. And it was just perfect if there are 10 people in the 10*10 room with one phone where you are cooing to the tunes of “ haan Maa” and “sab badiya” and the rest 9 doing a copy paste in turns. In this agreeable scene, comes the protagonist, talking sheepishly  “Nahi hum sultanpur wapas aa rahe hain, yahan nahi padhenge, yeh bahut kharab college hai , phir se IIT kka taiyaari karenge”. This was the opener of Comp Science branch in ISM in 2002, a born genius who had made the 200% of whatever little life had given him. But now when his dreams were just within his reach, he said “ I QUIT”. Nonetheless, with chums like us and 4 years with inmates of heaven and  hell, he never did quit but turned out to be a super programmer who was just little aimless.

Room no 166 was the devil’s zone with the nawab of faizabad and the ghulam of B.C( read bekar ki chamari if u don’t yet know full form) dwelling together. The nawab’s extra mild concentration and the ghulam’s never ending punches made this place the best place in hell. Here you could learn the art of procrastinating at its best and what more, never regret an ounce about the same. Here you could learn the art of silent eloquence, how to piss off someone by speaking once in a million years. Here you could learn the laws of nature …... you could try changing destiny but why take the risk of making it worse J. Here you could squeeze in 10 people on one bed and enjoy the blissful sun through the window in the winter and spread yourself on the floor, besides the not so smelly shoes and fall in love with the cold floor. Here you could learn to live without doing anything meaningful in life and yet die laughing.

Can a dacoit’s name be Mr good ? Why not …. We had a murderer amongst us whom we called the doc. He looked like a doctor, and we were fooled by his looks. Don’t believe me, you should have tried studying with him in the examination days. The lightning speed with which he cruises the photocopied notes would kill your years of reading aptitude. The exuberance with which he had everything by rote would make you feel you are ghajni(memory loss patient). Ten minutes into the examination hall, when you are contemplating the answers to the abstruse questions , the doc would shout at the top of his voice “ Sir Sheet” and there will be collective “Oh Shit!” chant in the minds of rest 288 folks including you. And yes , he would finally kill you when the results are out and his scores would be soaring high on the list and on asking how .. the engineer would reply “ jyada sochega tho yahi hoga … rat liya kar na”. I urge the doctors to apply for the possession of his brain and eyes, I am sure it’s not human.

Well I did come across many heinous creatures like me in the hell but I don’t know why an angel was there too. Later I came to know he was not an angel , but a love beast, who was going to do nothing in the next 4 years other than love a girl and love her beastly. His love would make him throw coffee mugs at others (of course with the coffee in it, still hot), try to strangulate an elephant sized kid and run marathons to try to rip apart any inmate of the hell who would speak of his seemingly failed love… here was our own love monster who was otherwise calm and tender except for the utterance about his love.

Humanoids is future but the living Database engine came into the world long back in the 1980’s. Somehow his DBMS systems coupled with the beautiful lanes of Kanpur had made him to reach hell where beauty was a sparse matrix, and the matrix downloaded and stored for infinity in this mean machine. The query processing time is also close to that of the best super computers of the world and the feature description was statistically and emotionally excellent. Lesser humans, who apply for Doc’s brain , please seek his too. He is so good at heart that he might give it to you for free…..(to be continued..)

Please leave your comments if you find the above worthy of it .. It shall motivate me to post more of my aimless ramblings