Kamino!! I am missing u

Long time , more than thousand days gone… when I did see all of your faces together, some at canteen and others at library and yet others on the lanes of heaven on earth .. ruby hostel. Yes ruby hostel to me was a secret and sacred place to me,  with beauty and brains residing at the same place (though not in the same bodies eventually). But yes , most in the hell(read boys hostel) did consider it as a magical place , some even querying the ex-mess workers of ruby. Not difficult to guess why the fired/replaced/resigned employees of ruby hostel had guaranteed openings in guys hostels . In fact  they were quite popular with the chamatkari(can do an 3idiots inspired Cntrl H) souls of the hell.

I still remember when I met a timid soul who went on to be my roommate and one of the best buddies in the queue for Admission and then of med-check. A south Indian look, rimmed specs and the disciplined trudging to the admission room made him a serious candidate for fully faltu awards(read gold medal, best outgoing stud etc). I am glad that my , in fact our company made him graduate into a smart and cool stud , not to mention without the load of any faltu award. He realized the eternal gyaan of chillaxing even while the world awaits an apocalypse. We did help him in realizing that he is way sharper than others when he could get above average marks with less than average efforts. In other words we shaped his life …. Oh ok .. no thanks required here… that’s what we are good at .

Those were not the days of cheap mobile phones and of course 99 % of the best students are from poorest/most logical of the families in India, none of us were in the elite 1% group. We used to queue up for calling our sweet dens thousands of miles away and to try to fake the hell we were in saying “Aal izz well”, while thinking of doing the murga rounds in the morning. And it was just perfect if there are 10 people in the 10*10 room with one phone where you are cooing to the tunes of “ haan Maa” and “sab badiya” and the rest 9 doing a copy paste in turns. In this agreeable scene, comes the protagonist, talking sheepishly  “Nahi hum sultanpur wapas aa rahe hain, yahan nahi padhenge, yeh bahut kharab college hai , phir se IIT kka taiyaari karenge”. This was the opener of Comp Science branch in ISM in 2002, a born genius who had made the 200% of whatever little life had given him. But now when his dreams were just within his reach, he said “ I QUIT”. Nonetheless, with chums like us and 4 years with inmates of heaven and  hell, he never did quit but turned out to be a super programmer who was just little aimless.

Room no 166 was the devil’s zone with the nawab of faizabad and the ghulam of B.C( read bekar ki chamari if u don’t yet know full form) dwelling together. The nawab’s extra mild concentration and the ghulam’s never ending punches made this place the best place in hell. Here you could learn the art of procrastinating at its best and what more, never regret an ounce about the same. Here you could learn the art of silent eloquence, how to piss off someone by speaking once in a million years. Here you could learn the laws of nature …... you could try changing destiny but why take the risk of making it worse J. Here you could squeeze in 10 people on one bed and enjoy the blissful sun through the window in the winter and spread yourself on the floor, besides the not so smelly shoes and fall in love with the cold floor. Here you could learn to live without doing anything meaningful in life and yet die laughing.

Can a dacoit’s name be Mr good ? Why not …. We had a murderer amongst us whom we called the doc. He looked like a doctor, and we were fooled by his looks. Don’t believe me, you should have tried studying with him in the examination days. The lightning speed with which he cruises the photocopied notes would kill your years of reading aptitude. The exuberance with which he had everything by rote would make you feel you are ghajni(memory loss patient). Ten minutes into the examination hall, when you are contemplating the answers to the abstruse questions , the doc would shout at the top of his voice “ Sir Sheet” and there will be collective “Oh Shit!” chant in the minds of rest 288 folks including you. And yes , he would finally kill you when the results are out and his scores would be soaring high on the list and on asking how .. the engineer would reply “ jyada sochega tho yahi hoga … rat liya kar na”. I urge the doctors to apply for the possession of his brain and eyes, I am sure it’s not human.

Well I did come across many heinous creatures like me in the hell but I don’t know why an angel was there too. Later I came to know he was not an angel , but a love beast, who was going to do nothing in the next 4 years other than love a girl and love her beastly. His love would make him throw coffee mugs at others (of course with the coffee in it, still hot), try to strangulate an elephant sized kid and run marathons to try to rip apart any inmate of the hell who would speak of his seemingly failed love… here was our own love monster who was otherwise calm and tender except for the utterance about his love.

Humanoids is future but the living Database engine came into the world long back in the 1980’s. Somehow his DBMS systems coupled with the beautiful lanes of Kanpur had made him to reach hell where beauty was a sparse matrix, and the matrix downloaded and stored for infinity in this mean machine. The query processing time is also close to that of the best super computers of the world and the feature description was statistically and emotionally excellent. Lesser humans, who apply for Doc’s brain , please seek his too. He is so good at heart that he might give it to you for free…..(to be continued..)

Please leave your comments if you find the above worthy of it .. It shall motivate me to post more of my aimless ramblings

Mission Rajgarh

How often have you felt that that you just can't take another step ?

How often you feel that this is my limit and I can't go beyond and how often have you conquered those limits ? Well not many such enlightening moments for me but yes , yesterday , 19th Dec did shower upon us dozens of such moments where we conquered our limits of pain, endurance and fear factor.

A casually made plan in the realms of the infosys cubicle and quite an irony, initiated by me, turned out to be the sweetest nightmare in broad daylight, mostly for those less than par at physical fitness. The plan was to conquer the fort Rajgadh. Built by Shivaji (sometimes i wonder what a gem of a leader he was..later on that). Though only the remains are there today, the trek still provides with an atrocious yet marvelous opportunity to relive the moments of the dare-devils who actually conquered the fort or even those who built it then.

We were a group of 11 colleagues/friends. For most of us it was a first time experience and were unaware of the extremes ahead.It started off on a lazy note and then followed a string of confusion and set of routing errors which delayed us by around 2 hrs to reach the base camp.. Imagine 10 people waiting on a highway for the 11^th , who, they are sure, has lost his way. The 11^th doesn’t know the route, doesn’t have cell phone or a penny to call the others. Hoping against the hope , we stood near a snacks shop for Anant to join us … somehow and yes he did…Next time I joined the party to lead us to Torna fort rather than Rajgadh. The base camp at velhe is around 60Kms from Pune, the first 30 of which is an awesome road for biking and the next 30 terrific on foot

No issues , once we reached the base camp, we grabbed wada pavs which we had bought on the way and were amazed to find that there was fort delivery service available. Yes, you can order your meal below and you would get it on the fort around 2-3 hrs later(looks like a good management case study…later) . With great enthusiasm we moved ahead … cutting our ways through muddy water, farms  and chickens (the murder of which we had ordered a couple of minutes ago).

Soon after I found that I am not that fit and the rest followed the suit to sit back and relax for a while. But after couple of such breaks we were literally divided into two groups, the first which would eventually be at top in next 2 hrs and the 2nd which would take 3 , 1 extra for some extra bit of rest and clicks.

Yes .. took a break as we did while others moved up the terrain. We often(in fact, more than often) sat beneath a shelter and sipped Glucon-D. Thanks to Shariq, it was refreshing and we could restart our tryst to the fort. Not far from the base camp we realized that we had been cheated. What we were promised as a fun filled trek was turning out to be exasperating and out of breath game. Worse still, we had not even reached half of where we had to. A few more slangs(to Sagar) and praises(to Shivaji)later, we reached a level ground, a kinda plateau. The tingling caressing of the breeze and the sight of the world below was ecstatic. We might have relaxed with a few snaps when we saw somewhere ,literally close to the sky, some hands waving and a collective thought voiced within us “what the f*, do we really have to go that high ?”

Yes, we had to. Somehow re-collecting ourselves with buttermilk, water and some deep breaths , we trudged along the narrow lanes to heaven. I  looked down the picturesque valley and my eyes said wow ! and my mind said “careful! , the distance b/w the valley and you is just one step”. Actually yes, from now on the distance between the life and death was not more than a small step. In these moments, the mind starts playing with you and it’s important to keep it in control. A game had already started in my mind which had cut down the beauty of everything around me. The best my brain could do was to concentrate on the next step. Later I found that most of the first timers had played the same game.

Nonetheless, the narrow track led us to a “no track zone”, there was no track, just rocks and designs cut out where you can somehow place your foot. First time had I thanked any government so sincerely, when I found iron rods pretending to be railings loosely planted on the sides of these rocks. At this moment any help was great help. I had also began to believe for some time now that we are actually descendants of apes, else how would I justify what I was doing. Packets of advices were thrown in from the other monkeys climbing up and using those as ropes we moved up. Few sharp climbs ahead we found solace ……………. Lo !!! it wasn’t actually kingfisher girls waiting for us , but a small passage carved out in the rock “ CHOR DARWAJA”. We had done it……..

This was the pinnacle… we had reached the fort…. Rajgadh fort !!!!

                                                                                                                                                            

Now the valley looked picturesque again, the taste of the chach was superb and the breeze … umm was breathtaking.

Wondering at the marvel of Shivaji, we placed our tired foot in the pond close by to experience free of cost fish spa… ultimate , thanks to Mohit for introducing me to the guppies who massaged my legs … all free of cost . It would cost you thousand bucks elsewhere.

                                                                                                                                                                            

After the foot massage was taken care of, it was time to rest !! but as luck  would not have it , people announced that we must see the balle killa , another couple of kilometers up from there. Everyone was keen on going and so was I. The confidence on reaching the fort was infectious. Little did I know, my confidence was about to be brutally murdered in the next half an hour. Yes it was only a couple of kilometers but the slope was close to 1. Great!!! At a point where  the trek made way to perfect rock climbing and the government failing me with no rods ……..I gave up…… But the monkey in me said “look at the other monkeys … they have done it .. am a monkey too”.. And on top of the voice another monkey shouted “ ho jayega .. aa jaao”..

Well , thanks to our forefathers, I did it and was still intact. Another door carved out of stone welcomed us to the Pinnacle……., actual pinnacle……

Someone said :
 “ Khudi ko karke buland itna , chadha who jaise taise ……..

  Khuda ne bande se khud poocha, bata ab utrega kaise...."

What a thought !!! and what a moment to liberate it!!     

            View from Balle Killa

No issues, the perfect monkeys assured us that we shall all be together this time as they resonated the thought that descend is tougher than the ascend…. The gameplan worked and we all reached “Daru khotar” in 20 -30 minutes. An experienced ape would climb down a few feet first, let the others know his judgement of the track and others would follow. For me and Anurag played the fore runner part.

Daru Khotar was our lunch venue. For the tastiest lunch in the ambience such as this, you can never pay in money… not even in credit. At a throwaway price of 30 I had the best lunch ever. Some even contemplated agriculture as future prospect. Well the time was running short and we decided to start our descend in half an hour. After visiting an age old temple, we started our journey back to base camp.

Somehow the descend this time was easier, probably because we had seen a tougher descend an hour back. The rocks seemed friendly and trust me the rocks are the only one which has the heart to hold you firmly when every other thing worked deceptively especially the gravels.

At the same kinda plateau place(refer above), we sipped tea and relished water(we were out of it at the top). After some friendly banter and some interesting flicks we moved to our base camp. We reached there at 6:30 and looked at the fort. Truly ………. a marvelous feat achieved….

                  “The Monkeys”

PS : Special thanks to Sagar for the concept and literally, being our guide to the trip.  Anurag for the descend tips and all the folks for making it a day which shall stand out in my memory … for a long time to come.