i want to write again .. i want to live again

26 years, a handsome duration for a fairly competent man to get where he wants to or at least be on the road which leads to his goal and here am i, confused and diffident as ever , in search of the lanes that lead to my goal. Good thing is I do what my goal is and with each passing moment of incompetency , i am driving further away from my destination. The basic problem with me is that there is no problem. Everything is so perfect, the environment so conducive. But for my will which has suffered derilious blow at the hands of life and my decisions.

I have taken so many harsh decisions for myself which i know are good but surely not in the short run. People form a good part of my being and that part of my being is definitely achieving at least in the outward show which makes me and my efforts seem timid . I have accumulated so much pressure on myself that i fear failure to death now. I can't stand the fear of failing and that is where i have degraded myself to a piece of animal.

Failure is but a part of life and we must accept is the way it comes. It doesn't mean that i should just be sitting idle ... atleast working out and failing would be a different experience than the thought " Had I put in more efforts". Yes i know , i must plan and execute the gameplan , however silly it might be in my eyes or to the world. but i must fight back in the next few days ........ who knows success might be just one leap ahead!!!!